Saturday 18 May 2024 – The food noise

Today is day six and I have no negative symptoms to report. I’m having normal, regular bowel movements, I haven’t noticed any feelings of sickness, no headaches, not a single side effect that I can identify. Well, just one. The food noise is gone.

I doubt I have to tell you what I mean by food noise, but just in case, the food noise is the constant chatter, the constant thinking about food. It’s waking up in the morning and thinking, what are we having for dinner tonight, while wondering what I’m having for lunch, will I be home? Am I going to the office? Am I going to a meeting, what will the options be? Should I take something with me? It’s after dinner, I immediately start thinking I fancy something sweet. What have we got in? And mentally going through the fridge and cupboards identifying anything I could have. Often there would be something, I’ve bought biscuits, crisps, snacks, but of course, if I was ‘on a diet’ then I would not have bought those things, so now I have to get creative. I could put peanut butter on some ice cream, I could have cereal? Could I put some nuts and raisins in a bowl, and sprinkle some sugar on? Well, my constant little friend has gone.

I now think about food when I’m hungry, and in fact this week I haven’t felt hungry. I have only felt the feeling that I normally feel way after hunger. Usually, I would feel hungry and then eat, but if I was in a situation where I couldn’t immediately eat and that hunger stayed for a while, after a while I would actually stop feeling hungry and just feel like, okay now I just need to eat food. One of the ways that I would definitely know the difference is if I was hungry, I would still be selecting what I fancied to eat, but once I’ve gone beyond that into just feeling empty, I knew that I just needed food and would eat anything that was available. That’s the time I find myself eating the apple that’s been in the bottom of my handbag weeks.

What I’m finding is I notice this feeling of empty, and then I’m thinking okay, what can I eat? So far, I have not changed anything about the type of food I’m eating. I’m eating exactly the same food as before. I’m just eating less, and I’m pleased to say that while I’m eating, I’m still really enjoying the food, this hasn’t taken away my pleasure from eating a lovely piece of sourdough toast with butter and marmite, or a piece of chicken in a lovely mushroom sauce.

I know that I can’t imagine a future where food isn’t still an important part of how I celebrate and participate in family occasions. The fact that I’m still really enjoying the taste and texture of the food is really good.

Last night, I had my first event since beginning. I was at The Seahaven Business Awards Dinner, it’s a wonderful black tie occasion, and I had pre-booked my menu choices weeks before I knew that I was going to be embarking on this program. I had chosen prawns, salmon en croute and cheese and biscuits. I didn’t touch my starter. I ate about half of my salmon, one potato and some carrot, and then I didn’t touch the cheese. I had half a glass of wine and lots of water. Full disclosure, I did have to give a small speech, so normal nerves were playing a part in controlling my appetite. I know that when I see the photographs from the event, I’m still going to see me looking much larger than I am happy about, but I’m also thinking that when the same event rolls round next year, things could be dramatically different.

I got on the scales this morning. I’m five days in and I have lost 9.5lbs.
I am finding I keep telling people, friends, strangers, business associates, that I’m taking this drug. It works for my own accountability, and that’s another reason for me creating this blog. I also genuinely want people to know that this is an option.

I have a quiet day planned today, and then tomorrow I take my next injection.
I would often have plans and targets in place when I start a diet, but this time I’m going to try and just go with the flow. I’m recording my weight but trying not to do too much weight maths, and figuring out what I might weigh by what date.

Honestly, every single aspect of this feels different from any other diet I have ever done. It makes me realise that maybe people who are naturally slim feel like this all the time. And all the years of believing that being fat was a failing, that I just had to take control, find the motivation, and put the damn fork down. When maybe it is genetic after all.

That is all this drug is doing, it is increasing the impact of a couple of hormones.
GIP=glucose-dependent insulinotropic polypeptide; GLP-1=glucagon-like peptide-1.

And, if people who are naturally thin, are born with this genetic make-up already, then obesity is as much a medical condition as any other. And now there is a treatment. The end is in sight. Sounds pretty cool.

Weight 16 stone 12.6 lbs
Down 9.5lbs