I wasn’t even going to write a blog this week because it felt like there was nothing to say.
Then yesterday afternoon I don’t even know what happened.
I was going to get my nails done at 1.30pm which meant parking right next to Gregg’s.
I asked my hubby if he wanted anything, and I started to think about what I fancied.
Before I knew it I found myself also nipping into the co-op. In total I bought, and then went on to eat;
2 double chocolate cookies
1 Wispa
1 Fry’s Turkish Delight
1 Belgium Bun
Half a bag of revels
Did I enjoy them? Yes.
Was it worth it? I don’t know.
Last night I woke up twice thinking I was going to be sick. I wasn’t, it was just burps. But it felt horrible.
I found myself thinking ‘what have I done, why have I filled myself up with all this food?’
Which is really good news.
Let me explain.
I never feel sick from a binge, only guilty. So, this is a new experience for me, and I feel oddly reassured by it.
I should feel something physically when I eat loads of crap.
This reassures me that I will be able to find a balance out there in my future. It is ok for me to eat chocolate, or cake, just maybe not quite so much of it all on one day.
I did not stand on the scales today. I did not what to see the impact of my binge. If my weight went up, I know it would only be temporary. I will not have gained pounds of fat in one day. And I know that denial is not the way to go. But it is just one day.
I have had my jab today and a new week begins.
This is all about learning a new way to live and balance can include the odd binge.
Balance can include the odd anything!
Have a great week everyone.